Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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