I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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