We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
