hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
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I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
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Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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