i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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