I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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