i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
