Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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