Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We got so high we made milksteak
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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