capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
