There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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