oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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