You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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