I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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