Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
