Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize