so explain again why im purple
no
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize