what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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