you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
