You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
