He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Less talking, more tequila
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
