Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
