he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
