well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
