goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
