Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
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