He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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