i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
