I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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