She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No...this little piggys going to the bar
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
