Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
