Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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