Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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