I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
