I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize