Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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