Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
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I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
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Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.