How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".