Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.