fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?