i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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