It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
