my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
