Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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