I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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