What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
