If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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