OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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