I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
