I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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