Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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