Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
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He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
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I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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