If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
