While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
