Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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