haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
