Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Don't EVER smell your tampon
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
