she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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